I sit here in my sweatpants, fingering the rugged corners of this old photograph, writing the indescribable emotion that I feel inside. I can't explain it. The only words that come to mind are "she's lost her will, time is standing still", yet I burst into tears upon hearing that song. Where did the time go? the forever puzzling question that I can never understand. How did hours and days turn into months and years?

My eyes refuse to leave this 3-year old picture. I looked so happy. Desperately, I rack my memories for what I could possibly be feeling in this photo, a feeling that I am no longer acquainted with.

It's chilly today. Curled in a ball on this ice-cold chair, I weep for the moments I took for granted and the bitterness of today. Take me away to better days...

One million tears welled up inside,

but they will not fall.

What will trigger this ultimate release,

to break down this wall.

Used to hiding between the lines,

you can try and make me cry.

Say goodbye to sanity,

‘cause you’ll never see what’s inside me.

smiles wickedly dazzling,
you blind my eyes

fingers light as smoke,
you rot my skin

kisses deliciously tangy,
you poison my lips

drugged by your sweet melody,
i'm lost in a state of bliss.

forever in your soft hold,
i wonder where this ends.

Now a victim of society

What she could've been,

Now jaded in memories

Her clean, innocent face

Smeared with lipstick waste

Eyes dark and black,

Leave red mascara tracks

Unfamiliar faces assess her every move,

She’s lost it all, got nothing else to lose

Her purple, self-induced bruises,

Left by countless abuses

That same frail body of a girl

Now lays limp on the floor with pills

She was once a dreamer

But society left its mark

Has the night become increasingly bitter

Or have the days turned more dark?

The glance downward is deadly

The fog lurks within reach,

Chills run down without feeling

Screams muffled by mists of time

Same clothes, hair, reeking of wasted chances

Just one more inch to see the end

The sleepless nights, dreaded mornings,

Loathsome years, and misplaced hearts

Neglected from truth and covered with lies,

Each dose of reality falls deeper

The girl in the broken mirror with wet eyes,

Her death stare shatters the glass in rage

Pieces crumbling down like light bricks,

The pathway to the other side is blocked

From the thundering depths below,

The view up top is small

Eyes closed, breathing in the waft of demise,

A distinct sound halts the mind

Thump, thump, not all is lost

Standing weightless at the edge,

Time stops to observe,

The world below is changing.